


Starting Over

by MajorWolfe



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 13:59:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorWolfe/pseuds/MajorWolfe
Summary: When Bernie finds her life taking a series of unexpected turns, she finds herself lost, and feeling like she has no way out of the situation she finds herself in.  Luckily, she finds love, support and friendship where she least expects it.Completely AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I mentioned this on twitter and quite a few people said they'd be interested in reading it, so here it is. It's just Bernie and Serena for now, but Alex (and Ric) will make an appearance in later chapters.

Serena sighed as she heard the alert on her phone, the dedicated ringtone meaning only one thing and she grabbed her shoes and jacket, hoping it was enough to shield her from the  torrential downpour, stopping only to pick up her keys before racing out of the house and knocking on her neighbour’s door, “can…”

She didn't have to finish when the woman nodded, “of course, go!” 

“Thanks, Elinor…” 

“Will be fine” the woman pointed to Serena's hatchback, “go!” she ordered, dropping her head to shield her face from the rain as she made her way into Serena's house, Serena climbing into her car and speeding off. 

She threw her car into the dedicated parking space when she arrived at her destination, pulling her coat tightly around herself as she headed towards the familiar building but something, or rather someone caught her eye before she made it to the door. 

A woman about her own age, curled up the floor drenched to the bone. Her whole body shaking as she sobbed, seemingly oblivious to the weather, a familiar envelope clutched to her chest and blonde hair plastered to her face by the rain, Serena knew instantly why she was there and her heart broke for the woman. 

This had never happened before, usually the women were long gone when she arrived, there was a five minute delay in the alarm being raised for that exact reason, but as the rain continued to beat down and the wind howled around her, Serena knew she couldn’t just leave her there, “hi” she said softly as she crouched down beside the woman, “I’m Serena” she told her before quickly adding, “you don’t need to tell me your name, not if you don’t want to.” She gestured to the small building the blonde was leant against, “do you want to go inside? I can make you a hot drink and we can get you dried off a bit?” she suggested.

Serena’s words seemed to startle the blonde back to reality and she tried to scramble to her feet, still clutching tightly to the brown envelope, “I can’t, I… I have to go” she mumbled.

Serena smiled sympathetically, “I need to get inside” she said gently, “I erm, I got the message” she didn’t need to explain any further, the blonde knew what she meant, “but I’m not here to judge, and we don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to, I just want to make sure you’re safe too.”

The blonde looked up at Serena before nodding once, “okay” she whispered, accepting the hand Serena held out and clumsily pulling herself to her feet.

“Sorry” Serena apologised for the persistent buzzing noise they could both hear when they walked into the building, “that’s for if anybody’s here when…” she gestured outside and the other woman nodded, again, not needing further explanation, “let me go and sort things out” she said softly as she opened a door to reveal a small kitchen area complete with a small table and four chairs, “why don’t you wait here?” Serena suggested, “I’ll bring you some blankets and towels if you give me a minute.”

The blonde nodded, scared eyes glancing around the room, sodden envelope still clutched tightly to her chest, “and I don’t have to, to see…”

Serena shook her head, “not in here, not unless you want to?” 

“No” the blonde answered quickly, almost too quickly, “no I…” she dropped her head, “no.”

“Okay” Serena smiled sadly and gestured to the chairs, “sit down, I won’t be long.”

“I should go” the blonde mumbled when Serena came back into the room five minutes later with a handful of towels and blankets, along with a brown envelope identical to the one the blonde was still holding tightly to. 

“I won't stop you if you want to leave” Serena put the blankets and towels on the table. “But I wanted to give you this” she held out the envelope, the blonde looking down at her own envelope, “it's the same” she said softly, “it's got all the same information inside, it's just, well, not quite as soggy.” 

The woman nodded and took the dry envelope, “thank you.” 

“It's okay” Serena smiled softly, “are you sure you don't want that cuppa? Warm you up and dry you off a bit?” she asked as she held out one of the towels. 

The woman’s eyes darted around the room before she sank back down in the chair and nodded slightly, “thank you”. 

Serena smiled sadly and wrapped the towel she was holding around the blonde’s shoulders, “help yourself” she gestured to the pile of towels and blankets, turning to flick on the kettle, retrieving two mismatched mugs from a cupboard on the wall as the other woman reached for a towel and began to rub at her dripping wet hair. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked nervously, gesturing out of the door as Serena placed a mug on the table in front of her. 

“Yeah” Serena smiled softly, “absolutely fine, you don't need to worry.” She watched the woman for a minute before telling her, “no one's ever stayed before. Are you sure this is what you want to do?” 

The blonde dipped her head, running her finger around the rim of her mug, Serena not sure if the droplets hitting the table were tears, or rain dripping from her still sodden hair, “I don't know if it's what I want to do” she whispered, her voice thick with tears, “but it’s what I have to do, I haven't got any other choice”. 

Serena reached out and gently placed her hand on the woman’s forearm, “there are always other choices.” 

“I, I know I could have… that, that there were other options, I tried to, but I, I was too late” she whispered. 

“I'm not judging you” Serena said softly, “you don't need to explain yourself to me, I just, well, no one’s ever stayed before, I just want to be sure, want you to be sure that you've made the right choice, because no matter what you might think right now, there are still other options.” Serena gently squeezed the woman’s arm,“was this your choice? You weren't pressured into it by anyone?” 

The blonde shook her head, “there isn't anyone else, it’s, I…”

“It’s okay” Serena smiled, changing the subject as she asked, “how are you? Physically I mean? Have you seen a doctor or…” 

The blonde dipped her head even further, so ashamed to admit, “I am a doctor” that she whispered the words so quietly Serena almost didn't catch them. Her heart broke even more for the woman in front of her, she'd didn't even need all the fingers on one hand to count the number of other women she'd met, just two who’d changed their mind and returned. They'd both been young, scared. But not this woman, she was a similar age to Serena, she was a doctor, not a girl from the local High school, but she was just as scared, just as lonely, just as broken, and Serena couldn't help but feel like she needed to reach out, she needed to help her. 

“Okay” Serena nodded, “and do you think you're okay?” The blonde nodded but said nothing, her gaze still fixed on the table in front of her.  “Do you want to talk about it?” Serena asked softly,” about why you…” she gestured out of the room,“why you feel like you don't have any other choice?” 

“I, I was in the army” the blonde said quietly, “I, I left my husband before I went on my last deployment, I, the… it wasn't planned. It's why I left the army but my ex husband, we were living in his mother's old house so I was the one that moved out. He cleared our joint bank account and I couldn't work, I can't… I've got nothing. I…” she shook her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks. 

“Okay” Serena said softly, “granted you're not in the best situation, but there's nothing we can't work with. Where are you living now?” 

“In a B&B at the other side of town, but by the end of the week I won't be able to afford it any more, that's why I… this is my only option, it's the only thing that's fair.”

“I can sort you out accommodation, it might be a bedsit or another B&B for the time being but we could get you into emergency accommodation tonight and then when the council offices open on Monday we can get all the paperwork sorted and get you on the list for somewhere more permanent, and you'll be eligible for benefits, and probably an emergency grant to cover the cost of things until that comes through, and just for the weekend we can get you something sorted from the food bank and we've got things here that we can give you for…” Serena took a breath, “I know it's probably a lot to take in right now, but what I'm trying to tell you is that there are other options, people who can and will help you if you want them to. I can make some calls right now and set things in motion, you can go in there” Serena gestured into the kitchen, “and you can change your mind, it's not too late.”

“I, I don't want to do this” she the blonde whispered, “I…” she slowly lifted her gaze to meet Serena’s, “will you help me?” 

Serena couldn't keep the smile from her face, “of course I can, but first things first, why don't we go and say hello to your son?”


	2. Chapter 2

“Bernie” the blonde said as she nodded, “outside” she whispered, “you said I didn't need to tell you my name but erm, it's Bernie.” 

Serena smiled and nodded as she noticed the other woman shiver slightly, “why don't you take off your jacket, and maybe your jeans too if you don't mind?” Serena suggested, “we can wrap you up in the blankets and I can put your clothes in the dryer, the last thing you want with a newborn is to get a cold.” 

Bernie nodded and shrugged off her jacket, “thank you.”

A quiet whine came from the other room and Serena was quick to stand to her feet, “I'll go and see to him, leave your clothes on the table and come through when you're ready.” 

Bernie stripped down to her underwear once Serena left the room, using one of the towels to dry herself off before wrapping herself up in the blankets, “is he okay?” she asked as she made her way into what was obviously a small office area, finding Serena bent over a pale yellow moses basket on a wooden stand. 

“He's absolutely fine” she smiled, “he was a bit wet but he's got a dry nappy on now and he's ready for a cuddle with his Mummy” 

Bernie nodded, “I, erm…”

Serena gestured to a small sofa in the corner of the room, “why don’t you sit down, make yourself comfortable?”

Bernie nodded again and made her way over to the sofa, adjusting the cushions as she sat down, looking up expectantly at the other woman as she stood, a bundle of blankets in her arms that she gently handed over to Bernie, the tiny baby letting out a quiet wail as he was moved but settling quickly once he was in Bernie’s arms, “oh” Bernie whispered as she felt more tears fill her eyes, “I’m sorry” she sobbed, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Serena smiled softly at the pair before gently squeezing Bernie’s shoulder, “I’ll go and put your clothes in the dryer” she told her, “give the two of you some time.”

Bernie didn't respond, her attention focused solely on the baby in her arms, holding him closely as she kissed his head, telling him over and over again, just how sorry she was. 

Serena left mother and son to bond as she made her way back to the kitchen, throwing the pile of sodden clothes and towels into the tumble dryer before flicking the kettle back on, intending on making them both another cup of tea. 

She took Bernie her tea through to find the blonde had curled up on the sofa, her son tucked inside the blanket with her, “if you've warmed up a bit, why don't you take his clothes off” she suggested as she put the mug down, “skin to skin contact will be good for both of you.” 

Bernie nodded and smiled tearfully as she lifted her son from where he'd been settled against her chest, “okay” she said, laying him on her knee so she could strip him down to his nappy before tucking him back inside the blanket and gently kissing the top of his head. 

“Okay?” Serena asked, getting a nod in response, “I'm going to make those phone calls now, but I'll do it in the kitchen to give you two some space” she gestured to the back of the sofa, “there's another blanket there if you get cold”. 

Bernie nodded and smiled, “thank you” she tore her gaze from her son to look up at Serena, “I mean it, thank you… for everything.” 

Serena returned the smile as she watched mother and son, “I'm just doing my job.” 

Serena picked up a few papers, a pen and a notebook from the desk in the corner of the room before making her way back into the kitchen, pushing the door almost closed so her phonecalls didn't disturb the woman bonding with her son in the next room. 

It didn't take her long to do what she needed to do. She'd been doing this for long enough that she knew exactly who she needed to speak to, had contacts that would help Bernie get the support she and her son needed. 

Unfortunately the earliest she'd be able to speak to anyone about accommodation or an emergency grant to get the things she'd need for her newborn son, was Monday morning, but Serena was determined to help Bernie now. She’d already decided to give her a lift back to where she was staying, and pay for her to stay for the next week out of her own pocket, but then she made another phone call, this time to her daughter’s father. 

The pair had been friends for years, worked together in the hospital and after a few too many drinks, had woken up in bed together one morning after a colleague’s birthday party. They'd dated for a few weeks but mutually agreed that it wasn't going to work, that they were better off as friends. Their daughter hadn't been planned, the positive pregnancy test coming several weeks after they'd decided to just be friends, but he'd been nothing but supportive. He lived close by and had supported Serena through her pregnancy, a difficult labour and a long struggle with postnatal depression. He was the best father Serena's daughter could ask for, work permitting, he saw her everyday, sometimes for the whole day, sometimes just in time to read her a bedtime story and tuck her into bed. 

When Serena called him he was already at her house, as she had done on several occasions before, Serena’s neighbour had called him and he'd made his way round as soon as possible. She explained the situation and he understood, knew Serena only wanted to help, and promised that once Elinor was settled he'd sort through the baby items Serena had kept in the hopes of having a second child, he'd get together anything he thought the new mother could use, for Serena to take to the B&B for her. 

Serena stayed in the kitchen until she heard the beep that signaled the dryer had finished, folding the clothes neatly before making her way into the office, smiling softly as she found mother and son both fast asleep on the sofa, baby content to be laid on his mummy’s chest, his head on her shoulder, the blankets wrapped around them both as they slept peacefully. She didn't wake them, simply took Bernie’s untouched mug back through to the kitchen, planning on letting the pair sleep as long as they needed to. 

It was the quiet cries of the baby that let Serena know they were awake and she made her way back through, “everything okay?” she asked quietly, not wanting to scare either of them.

“Yeah” Bernie smiled sleepily, “he erm…” she gestured to the baby now laying horizontally against her chest, “he was hungry.” 

Serena nodded and perched on the edge of her desk, “I spoke to someone at the council” she told Bernie, “I've made you an appointment to see somebody on Monday morning. Your clothes are dry so once he’s finished feeding, I'll take you back to your B&B if you want, and I'll make sure you're okay for the rest of the week” 

Bernie's head snapped up, “you don't have to do that.” 

“No” Serena said softly, “but I want to, and I've called my ex, once he's got our daughter in bed, he's going to find out some of her baby things for you, I'm sure we've got some neutral clothes and her Moses basket was white, they should do you for a while.”

‘You, you've got a daughter?”

Serena smiled and nodded, “Elinor, she's just turned two.” 

“I, I don't know what to say” Bernie said quietly, “I don't even know you and you've been so kind to me, to us.” 

“I just want you and your son to have the help and support you need and deserve.”

“I don't know how I can ever thank you, if it wasn't for you…” 

“You just do your best to raise that little boy” Serena told her, “I'll go and get your clothes, then you can get changed once you're ready.” 

Bernie nodded and smiled as she pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her son's head, "thank you." 


End file.
